Well, let’s be honest, it’s about time Ralphie the stuffed dog (me) had a voice. It’s deep, soothing and quite sexual. I’ve been told that women in the streets just melt at the near thought of me opening my mouth. And so they should.

I’m here to tell it like it is. No beating around the bush, no BS and no favors. If you want a straight talking answer to your most pressing questions, then you’ve come to the right place.

Hopefully, I’ll be hearing from many of you soon as I know you will have many questions about where to go, what to do, how much to pay and what color underpants should you wear. Unfortunately, you probably won’t like my answers though, because the truth normally hurts.

You can also try and be my friend on facebook if you like. You can find the Ralphie the Stuffed Dog facebook page here.

If you have time to read mythical posts from a stuffed toy dog, then good for you. You clearly have too much time on your hands. So why not take that next step and ask me the questions that Dr Phil never got back to you about. I promise I will give you a completely stuffed answer.